<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>With this amulet I thee wed by sherlock221Bismymuse</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24820282">With this amulet I thee wed</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlock221Bismymuse/pseuds/sherlock221Bismymuse'>sherlock221Bismymuse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boys In Love, Light Angst, M/M, Sort of Amulet fix because the story stops waaay before the amulet was ever thrown away, Sort of Stanford fix, Wincest - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:08:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,022</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24820282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlock221Bismymuse/pseuds/sherlock221Bismymuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean and the amulet through the years.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Wincest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>With this amulet I thee wed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1991</p>
<p>That Christmas when Sam gives Dean the amulet, Dean looks at it and then back at his baby brother in wonder.</p>
<p>
  <em>Such a beautiful thing……for him?? </em>
</p>
<p>“Are you sure Sammy?” Dean asks, eyes wide and freckles dusted with a blush.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Sam nods, a strange feeling bubbling up when it sees it around Dean’s neck, as though he knows now that it was meant for him all along. It is right where it belongs.</p>
<p>Then Dean picks it up to his lips and gives it a kiss.</p>
<p>Sam feels giddy at the sight. It is like something out of the fairy tales where the Prince or Princess just sees something, maybe a shoe, or a rose or hears a song and recognizes the one they are going to be with happily ever after.</p>
<p>He feels warm and giggly when he thinks of that and as he snuggles in under the blankets he wonders if Dean felt that too.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Dean looks at the Sam -shaped lump on the bed and touches the amulet almost reverently.</p>
<p>
  <em>How could he possibly deserve something so beautiful? </em>
</p>
<p>He is not sure if he is thinking only of the amulet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>1994</p>
<p>As the years pass, Dean never ever takes the amulet off.</p>
<p>Sam watches it glint in its dull way as Dean is busy …always so busy…his hands moving…always moving……cleaning guns, cooking food, sharpening knives.</p>
<p>By now Sam knows only too well that monsters are real and Dean and Dad are Hunters. Dad has started taking Dean with him on hunts now and Sam feels as intensely bereft every single time that he and Dean are apart. But Dean always waits till Dad has turned his back and then he holds the amulet up and kisses it and ruffles Sam’s hair and tells him to do his homework and sleep on time.</p>
<p>One day when Dean goes to shower after returning from a particularly bloody hunt (though none of the blood is his fortunately!), Sam is waiting for him outside. As Dean dries his hair and face, the first thing he says is “Sammy..” and nods towards the amulet he has taken off and kept on the bed.</p>
<p>Sam picks it up and goes up on tiptoe as Dean ducks down and he puts it around Dean’s neck.</p>
<p>Something about the way the light gleams in Dean’s eyes when he looks at him then makes him hold his breath. Sam suddenly has the feeling that the rest of the world has dropped off. There is only Dean and him, held together by the amulet.</p>
<p>Then Dean shakes his wet hair at Sam and makes him squeal. Dean laughs and barely manages to pull on his clothes before he crashes on the bed.</p>
<p>Sam goes back to the table where he is doing homework but he keeps glancing at Dean’s sleeping form and wonders if the amulet really has magical powers and whether Dean also sensed that strange enchanted feeling.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Dean sighs as he tried to find some comfortable spot on the pillow. He would never ever say it in words but being without the amulet makes him uncomfortable, even if it is just for the duration of the shower. Now that it is back where it belongs he can relax and try to sleep.</p>
<p>
  <em>He needs it to feel complete. </em>
</p>
<p>His last thought as he drifts off is to wonder if he is thinking only of the amulet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>1995</p>
<p>Despite Dean trying to argue with Dad (for the first time ever that Sam can remember him doing that), Dad insists on taking Sam along as a lookout for the hunt. Dean is needed for the hunt itself but they need Sam to be up a tree and tell them if they are going to the right spot. This is the first time Sam has been near a hunt and his heart is hammering away in double fear when Dean quietly touches his hand where they are sitting next to each other in the back seat. When he looks up he sees Dean pick up the amulet and kiss it.</p>
<p>Sam takes a deep breath and nods. <em>They are going to be ok. </em></p>
<p>But when Sam spots the creature coming towards them and yells a warning it is his worst nightmare come true since Dad and Dean rush <em>towards</em> the creature. Sam watches in horror as the thing lunges at Dean with its claws. He loses track of what is happening as three bodies wrestle on the ground, dust flying, grunts and snicking knife sounds and finally a scream.</p>
<p>Sam clutches his hair and watches in abject terror as slowly one figure and then two stand up.</p>
<p>
  <em>Dean!!! He is ok!</em>
</p>
<p>Sam climbs down the tree and runs to them.</p>
<p>Dad is shaking his head and cleaning his knife on his jeans while Dean is frowning and muttering. He sees Sam coming and he beams and puts his hand out to ruffle his hair.</p>
<p>“Eww Dean gross!! Your hand is full of ….stuff.” Sam says leaning away.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Dean says with a cocky grin. “It sure is. Damn thing pulled this off my neck so I did some slicing and dicing baby.” and he winks at Sam and hands him the amulet with the leather cord torn off, gleaming on his blood- soaked palm.</p>
<p>Sam picks it up and starts to re-tie the knot when Dad grunts. “Maybe you should take it off the next time you are on a hunt Dean. Probably just gets in the way.”</p>
<p>Sam looks up at Dean, his eyes wide in instant distress. Dean doesn’t say anything to contradict Dad. Sam knows he never would.</p>
<p>Sam’s heart sinks.</p>
<p>But then as Dad walks away Dean nudges him and ducks his head. Sam suppresses a giggle and puts the amulet around his neck. Dean may not have contradicted Dad but Sam gets a tingly feeling when he realizes that this one time Dean isn’t going to obey him either.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Dean follows Dad and gives a half smile to Sam who is clearly glowing with joy. He knows that he will never hold back from anything that makes Sam happy, no matter what Dad says.</p>
<p>He knows he is not thinking only of the amulet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>1997</p>
<p>Sam watches the amulet obsessively. He watches it sit there on Dean’s chest, moving with every breath, dangling low when he bends over the car, swaying when he going on the morning run.</p>
<p>Sam watches Dean obsessively. His hero. His best friend.</p>
<p>When Dean leans in to rub his cheek against Sam’s because <em>Sammy is too big for kisses now</em>, Sam squirms and pretends that he is disgusted but he sees the amulet so close up and can almost believe it is winking at him.</p>
<p>He rubs his cheek which has gone pink from Dean’s scratchy stubble and pretends to frown instead of the grin that is threatening to burst out.</p>
<p>He shivers at the sudden desire for Dean to mark him. He wants the world to know who he belongs to. He wants all those pretty girls who coo at Dean and kiss him to know that Dean will always come back to him.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Dean watches Sam rub his cheek and do his homework and his heart is bursting with pride at this kid who moves from school to school every few months and still works so hard and tops his classes. He wishes he could lay the whole world at his feet. Sam deserves everything he could ever want. Every treasure of this planet and every precious thing on it is worth nothing in front of this beautiful boy and his beautiful heart.</p>
<p>Dean is filled with wonder at how Sammy manages to somehow still be so innocent and so pure despite the life they lead. Still filled with kindness and sympathy and forgiveness and so much love. People who look at him and see only a scrawny kid dressed in second hand clothes don’t know the adorable way he hides under his bangs when embarrassed. They are not fortunate enough to see the soft smiles he gives when Dean manages to cook his favourite food. They are not worthy enough to see the tender worry in his eyes when he patches up Dean after a hunt.  </p>
<p>The two of them have no possessions they can treasure like the other kids in school. No collections, no cupboards, no treasure boxes. Barely a handful of photos saved from the fire. But they have each other.</p>
<p>Dean fiddles with the cord around his neck. He has this. This belongs to him.</p>
<p>Just then Sam looks up from his homework and right into Dean’s eyes.</p>
<p>Dean can feel that look graze his very soul. His breath freezes and he knows with absolute certainty that he is not thinking only of the amulet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>1999</p>
<p>Sam is sitting in the library of his school, waiting for Dad to pick him up. Dean had gotten injured in the latest hunt and Dad had been forced to take him to the hospital. He was getting a plaster cast put around his arm.</p>
<p>Sam refuses to acknowledge that a small part of him is grateful for the injury because it means that Dean would have to stay home with him and not go on hunts for a while. It means that he does not have to spend hours upon hours of torment and worry that descend upon him every single time that Dean winks a goodbye and takes off behind Dad, flexing his arms and checking his gun and knife and making sure Sam sees him give a quick kiss to the amulet when Dad isn’t looking.</p>
<p>He looks up when a shadow falls on him and he almost shouts with joy because it’s Dean!! He never expected him to be the one to come instead of Dad. Dean has his arm in a cast which is held up with a sling around his neck.</p>
<p>Sam gathers up his books quickly and follows him, talking rapid fire as soon as they step out of the building. “Dean!!! Are you ok?? What happened?? Is it hurting?? How?? Why?? When??”</p>
<p>“Hey…. Hey…… slow down squirt, it’s ok!” Dean says with a crooked smile. “It’s all been taken care of. Don’t have to stay at the hospital. Good thing too. No hot nurses in that place man.”</p>
<p>Dean gives him a wink and Sam elbows him. <em>How can one human being possibly be so annoying and so utterly loveable at the same time he will never know.</em></p>
<p>Dean stops on the last step and looks up. “Sammy? Get the thing out of my back pocket will you.”</p>
<p>Sam narrows his eyes. He trusts Dean with his life but he is always suspicious about some random prank.</p>
<p>“What is it?” He asks.</p>
<p>“Just do it, bitch.” Dean says with an easy grin. “Quick! Dad is waiting!”</p>
<p>So Sam digs into Dean’s back pocket and pulls out a tangled thing. The amulet!</p>
<p>Dean ducks his head in front of him. Sam realizes that he longer has to stand on tiptoe to do this. He lifts his hands and puts it around Dean’s neck and sees Dean relax and take a deep breath. When Dean lifts his head back up their faces are so close to each other that Sam can feel Dean’s breath moving. And Dean’s eyes, which are usually so full of whatever role he was playing that day—joker, big brother, good son, soldier, hunter—they are cleared of all that.</p>
<p>Sam feels like he can see right inside Dean and they both stand there for a split second but it seems like an eternity.</p>
<p>Here and now and forever…….it is just the two of them.</p>
<p>It may sound fanciful and he knows that Dean will tease him their entire lives if he ever said it but Sam knows that in that moment, on the last step of the library in that anonymous town in the middle of nowhere, their souls had looked at each other.</p>
<p>Then Dean blinks and the spell is broken. Dean pulls on the leather cord with his good arm to adjust the amulet and tries to calm his racing heart which is threatening to jump of his body to be with its other half.</p>
<p>Sam sits in the back as Dad drives and Dean twists in the front seat to tell him what had gone down. Dean exaggerates and dramatizes and Dad rolls his eyes and Sam is yelling with laughter by the time they reached the motel, feeling almost drunk on happiness.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Dean is boisterous and loopy with pain meds that night and louder than usual because he is trying to drown that throbbing , almost seismic sensation that has rocked him from the moment he looked into Sammy’s eyes on the library steps and thought that he would simply and happily drown deep into his brother’s very soul and never ever want to be rescued.</p>
<p>He keeps telling himself that it must have been the drugs. It had to have been the drugs.</p>
<p>He manages to even suppress the glorious dreams that try to visit him that night and he never remembers anything the next morning.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Later that night when Dad hits the bottle and Dean hits the bed after taking all the painkillers, Sam picks up the book he had borrowed from the library.</p>
<p>He reads about cultures where garlanding is the way to get married and as he looks at the examples of the photos in the chapter he feels a strange swoop in his stomach.</p>
<p>One of the persons has their head bowed and the other is garlanding them.</p>
<p>He knows now that he is married to Dean. He knows that they are meant to be together for life. Of course they are. They don’t need a church and vows and witnesses.</p>
<p>They are soulmates and best friends and they are each other’s happily ever after.</p>
<p>He gathers that precious knowledge into his ribcage and keeps it safe right next to his heart.</p>
<p>He just needs to wait for Dean to figure it out too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>2000</p>
<p>Dean doesn’t figure it out.</p>
<p>He still wears the amulet at all times. He does kiss it every time he leaves for a hunt. Now Sam is with him more often that not but he still feels the double-fast frantic drumming of his heart every single time that Dean decides his life is not as precious and flings himself in front of the monster.</p>
<p>This time Sam is furious and punches Dean as soon as the monster has been killed.</p>
<p>“Hey hey watch it!” Dean says taken aback. “What’s your problem Sam??”</p>
<p>“You are my problem.” Sam yells at him, close to tears. “Stop throwing yourself at the monsters you jerk!!”</p>
<p>“Aww don’t be like that Samantha.” Dean says instantly with a cheesy grin. “You know I will always be safe.” and he deliberately lifts the amulet and kisses it.</p>
<p>He watches the blush spread on Sam’s cheeks as he turns away and dashes out of the barn and Dean knows with cold certainty that the real danger is here rather than the monster he hunted just now. He doesn't think the amulet can protect from it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>2001</p>
<p>Sam wonders if Dean knows how he feels about him. He also wonders if Dean feels the same way. There have been so many small moments over the past few years when Sam felt certain, absolutely confident that the answer was yes. Dean knows and he also feels the same way.</p>
<p>But then again, Dean never ever says or does anything to make it clear and in fact he seems to have made it his mission to sleep with every single girl who is willing within the ten mile radius.</p>
<p>It has been many years now but Sam remembers like yesterday the day he first understood what Dean does when he is out with a girl and he could barely control the hot and cold shivers going down his spine.</p>
<p>Dean. His Dean. Having sex with others.</p>
<p>He learns to hide the jealousy and fight the hatred and anger he feels towards those girls, those utterly unworthy recipients of Deann’s attention. Of his kisses. Of his body.</p>
<p>Sam has learnt to suppress his feeling so well now that sometimes when he sees Dean kissing the girls he wonders if Dean takes the amulet off when he has sex with them and the thought doesn’t even make him cry.</p>
<p>Then there are days when he idly wonders if he could actually go mad waiting for Dean to understand that they belong together.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>One day Sam goes to surprise Dean at the garage he has started working in. He is feeling warm and gleeful and imagines how Dean will react, all surprised and pleased.</p>
<p>Just as he reaches there he see Dean go into the alley behind the garage with some young man, their body language rather clearly stating that they weren’t exactly going to be searching for spare parts there.</p>
<p>Sam stands there feeling numb.</p>
<p>He hates the amulet. It is not magical. It is nothing.</p>
<p>He hates Dean and he wishes their souls had never looked into each other.</p>
<p>But they had!</p>
<p>And they belonged together……</p>
<p>All these days Sam has been consoling himself that they were just girls.</p>
<p>One day….some day…Dean would snap out of it and realize who he was meant to be with.</p>
<p>But now??</p>
<p>Now it seems as though he is doomed to a lifetime of unrequited love.</p>
<p>There have been times when he is sure that he has seen a glimpse of something in Dean’s eyes but it is gone and hidden before he can explore it further or watch it bloom. Maybe he has been imagining it all. He is no better than those lovesick girls in his class pining away over some new actor or singer every week. That is all it is ever going to be. Dean as his hero and him as the lovesick invisible unknown fan.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>That evening Dean comes home happy and filthy. He ducks his head in front of Sam, the amulet swinging around his neck.</p>
<p>“Hey Sammy, take this thing off would you? I don’t want to get more grease on it. Gotta shower.”</p>
<p>He notices the stony- faced look that Sam gives him as he takes the amulet off and puts it on the table but puts it down to the mood swings that teenage Sammy has become prone to.</p>
<p>He has noticed the dark hot looks Sammy gives him sometimes but there is no way he can ever respond let alone reciprocate. He is impure and tainted and completely unworthy.</p>
<p>To hunt monsters and to look out for Sammy---that is all he is meant to do.</p>
<p>He allows himself a small moment of wonder that Sam, beautiful, brilliant, <em><span class="u">good</span></em> Sam, would ever find him desirable and then he locks that feeling up along with so many other denied and hidden desires of his young life.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Sam barely sleeps that night.</p>
<p>The next morning the first mail brings him the acceptance letter from Stanford.</p>
<p><em>It was supposed to be their way out!</em> He was going to show it to Dean as a surprise and ask him to leave with him. Leave this hunting life. Make a new one. Tell him that there are other ways to save people.</p>
<p>
  <em>But now? </em>
</p>
<p>Now he hides it like a dirty secret and it festers and bleeds and rots his very core.</p>
<p>Then one day when he just can’t bear to watch Dean swagger in after one more date, something snaps inside him and he shows it to Dad.</p>
<p>After they have the mother of all fights, Sam walks out and slams the door on Dean who is standing across from Dad, stunned, clutching the amulet till his knuckles turn white.</p>
<p>Sam doesn’t turn back and Dean doesn’t ask him to.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>That night Dean looks at himself in the mirror, bare chested, with the amulet sitting there, near his heart, and wonders how his heart can go on beating when Sammy is not there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>2001</p>
<p>It has been a month.</p>
<p>30 days of Sam looking at his silent phone a hundred times a day, scrolling up to the letter D and then tossing the phone aside. 30 evenings of Sam seeing his daydream of living here with Dean crumble into ashes and dust. 30 nights of Sam sleeping on tear- soaked pillows.</p>
<p>That day as he is returning from the last class he turns towards his residential block, and right there is the Impala, with Dean sitting on the hood.</p>
<p>Sam closes his eyes.</p>
<p>When he opens them the car is still there. Dean is still there.</p>
<p>Sam is frozen to the spot, everything inside him is screaming to turn and escape. But he can’t. So he stands there and watches the way the evening sun catches on Dean’s hair and makes it glow.</p>
<p>His feet take him forward without him knowing and in a matter of seconds he finds himself in front of Dean who is leaning against the car, waiting, looking everywhere but at Sam.</p>
<p>When Sam comes to a halt right in front of him, Dean finally looks up and straight into Sam’s eyes.</p>
<p>Then he deliberately picks up the amulet and kisses it.</p>
<p>Sam just stares at him, not sure what to do next. Not sure why Dean is here, how long he will stay. Not sure how long he will last if Dean leaves him here and goes away.</p>
<p>Dean keeps the amulet touching his lips and he comes closer and closer and still closer. Sam can feel the forcefield surround the two of them and the rest of the world fade away.</p>
<p>“Hey Sammy.” Dean says in a soft gravelly voice that Sam can feel right through his bones.</p>
<p>“Hey Dean.” Sam whispers back.</p>
<p>“So …” Dean clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck. “You know when I say bye to you I always….…well…..for good luck you know…..but this time it was you who left and I just …….”</p>
<p>He looks at Sam and Sam looks back at him, a faint hope bubbling in his chest, making him feel light headed. Dean lifts up the amulet and kisses it again while still looking at Sam. “This time I thought maybe you were the one who needs the luck.”</p>
<p>Sam still doesn’t say anything. The whole world seems to be holding its breath.</p>
<p>Dean ducks his head down and starts to take the amulet off and mumbles. “Or maybe you want to keep the amulet instead. Uh…to stay safe you know.”</p>
<p>But there is a look in his eyes that is begging for something else altogether and Sam decides that he will take a chance on that.</p>
<p>“Yes.” He says firmly, his heart fluttering like a bird in a cage. “I do want to keep the amulet.”</p>
<p>As Dean starts to pull it off, Sam reaches out and stops him.</p>
<p>“But only as long as it stays around your neck.” He says with a soft smile and he leans in and kisses Dean softly on the lips.</p>
<p>Dean melts into him at the instant their lips touch and the way he moans makes Sam’s knees give way. But Dean holds him so tight and kisses him back so fiercely that Sam wonders fleetingly if they will both just burn up with the passion.</p>
<p>When Dean finally lets go and just looks at him, radiating joy from every fibre of his being, Sam grins back.</p>
<p>“It was never about the amulet you moron.” He mumbles as he pulls Dean in closer and kisses him again.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>That night when Dean is hovering over Sam, dressed in nothing but the amulet, which is dangling down on Sam’s bare chest, Sam lifts it up and kisses it.</p>
<p>They have each other. Finally.</p>
<p>But they are going to need all the luck they can get to be together happily ever after.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>